Is it possible that I actually have a favorite anything? See, the only favorite thing I have ever been able to have my whole life is my favorite color - blue. I have always seen life as being too complex to truly have a favorite food, favorite actor, favorite song e.t.c.
But, there is a member of Nigeria's Parliament that might throw my trusted-approach on its head. His name is Patrick Obahiagbon and he is a representative of Edo State at the National Assembly. I first heard him speak when he was giving his opinion on the ''Political Boxing Match" that happened in Senate over the Etteh Gate Scandal. (Come on, it wasn't that long ago, you remember the fight and unfortunate death of a Senate member?).
Since then, I have been on a mission to pay as much attention to Mr. Obahiagbon as possible. I daresay I set my TIVO to record NTA Network News just for a glimpse of him everyday. I also take the time to search for video of him online from time to time, as well. No, I am not a stalker, but I promise you that once you hear this gentleman speak, you too will be intrigued. Or as he says "overgasted and flabberwhelmed."
You see, Mr. Obahiagbon has a way with the English language that, well, only ex-cons from the U.S. prison system have. Have you heard jokes about how people go to jail in the U.S., spend so much time reading books and educating themselves that they come out and 'blow grammar'? Well, if you haven't forgive the comparison. But, be rest assured that Mr. Obahiagbon speaks English, Latin, and his own language which I would like to proclaim 'Obahiagbonese'. It is a language that though difficult to replicate, is easy to 'understand'. I readily confess that everytime Mr. Obahiagbon speaks, it is a challenge for me to follow. This, despite the fact that I speak French, Yoruba, Japanese (a little rustily, I'll admit), can follow Italian, Spanish and am an expert at the incredibly juicy language called Pidgin.
Nevertheless, here is Mr. Obahiagbon being interviewed by the ever-capable Ms. Bosede Adebayo, of NTA, who I profusely thank for interviewing this Parliamentarian and for all her reports on the National Assembly which are always of particular interest to me. Thank you as well to Africast.com for making this video available to viewers.
I hereby challenge Waffy who is a 'Bende' person and comes from Mr. Obahiagbon's part of Nigeria (though a different state) to give us some insight on 'Obahiagbonese'. I also challenge any of you readers to develop a transcript of Mr. Obahiagbon's interview. In fact, if anyone accomplishes that feat, I daresay, I would have to give them a prize. Please look out for his advise to fellow members of the national Assembly to stop "suyaing". Pay attention because although Obahigbonese is hard to follow, the general gist of what he says to Nigerians, to Yardy and to his fellow Parliamentarians is 100% correct.
I think I have definitely found my favorite member of the National Assembly. I can't wait to hear more from him. Really.
PS: My original post for today, Another Letter to Yardy, will be posted on Thursday and on Friday, there will be a discussion on Blaming the Poor for Poverty. Also, read my latest post Enterprising Nigerians - Chinedu U. Echeruo at ALTNIGERIA.
UPDATE: Waffy did us all the incredible favor of transcribing Mr. Obahiagbon's interview and it can be found in the comments to this post. You must read them while listening to the interview. It is incredible. Thanks, Waffy! You win the prize, so shoot me an email so I can get your addy and send you something.
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36 Curiosities. Add Yours.:
Rethots where have thou been?
Oh, that man....he intrigues me every time he speaks. He flaunts his education (which i daresay, is a nice one. At least for the 'Ettehs' in the house). Oops, did i just say that?
He seems a very upright guy, most of the time though i wish he would speak in simple grammar for the less grammatic people like me.
First of all, dis na the first and last time I go take dis kain challenge. Chei! the man frustrate my ear at the very last minute. But becaue I can not fail my people, i don write out the transcript as it is.
Believe me, I was tempted to correct the words to what I thought he wanted to say, but as a true artist, I have left his words as they are for your enjoyment, So here it is:
Bosede: Welcome to NTA live from the national assembly… honorable Patrick Obahiagon …also known as igodo migodo. You are welcome, sir.
O: The pleasure is mine, Bosede
B: so, how are u today?
0: Very good. In a proper order. Very ready. Always ready for parliamentary work.
B: I know you were at the Edo state house of assembly. So how has your experience in the state assembly prepared you for the challenges of the national assembly?
O: Fantastic. Don’t forget I did 8 years at the Edo state house of assembly and by the grace of the don apticate of the universe, that opportunity has assisted me colossally in dotting the parliamentary “I s” and crossing the legislative “T s” and has put me in good speed for the due discharge of my parliamentary onnus probandi ……..because when you examine the relationship between parliament at the state level and parliament at the national assembly, the difference, if any, is one of a twoodledum and twidlydim, little or no difference.
The only difference of course being that, whereas in the state house of assembly you only impact on a micro pedestal plane, at the national assembly, you are talking at a macro level. So if you ask me, there is a dialogical rapport between parliament at the state level and parliament at the national level. It is one of a micro cossum in a macro cossum.
So in a nutshell, I want to say that my experience in serving as a legislator for 8 years, and my experience when I was leader of the Edo state house of assembly for 4 years, put me certainly in good speed for this assignment at the national level.
B: Is that why you have been a vibrant member of this national assembly as it were?
O: Partly yes. Partly yes. It is terra ferma for me and not terra incognita. It is familiar to me and once you were ceased of the muances of parliamentary discourse and discobolus it follows therefore that it will be familiar to you too.. partly…but again, partly it is equally responsible….. for the fact that you cannot succeed as a parliamentarian if you are not cosmopolitan. You must be prepared to immerse yourself in societal dialectics for you to be able to contribute efficaciously in a utilitarian modus.
So, if you are a parliamentarian and you don’t go through the ritual of even reading newspapers, you don’t bathe yourself in the aqua of the political cross currents, then you are going to be deuced, you are going to be paralytic in your contributions. So yes, my experience in the state of assembly has been responsible for my vibrancy in one breathe. At another breathe, my desire to perpetually entrench myself in political, social and intellectual currents have equally contributed in its own stead.
B: So in essence, what challenge are you giving to your other colleagues?
O: Sactas Simplicitas. They must avoid regular big stouting , suyaing , big stouting and peppersouping. Those are not the real issues. They must be prepared to immerse themselves in societal dialectics. They must put their nose to the grind stone. Chief Obafemi Awolowo the ikene philosopher said the difference between me and my other colleagues, was that when my other colleagues are cavorting in the dark alleys, I am in my library working myself 19 to the dozen.
You cannot succeed in life if you are not disciplined. You must be puritanical in your
predisposition, you must engage in an exercise of self purification and mortification, you must engage in an exercise of self abnegation, you must engage in an exercise of spiritual emulation. You must discipline the flesh. You must conquer the flesh. You must allow the spiritual aspect of you preponderate the material aspect, especially when you have been chosen to represent the people. So that at the end of the day, you can really say: vendi, vidi, vicki
B: what is the meaning of that?
O: I came, I saw, I conquered.
B: Sir,just like I told you that you are vibrant contributor to debates on the floor of the house at times does it really bother you whether the people get to understand what you say because of those big big grammar.
O: Well, let me say that I have been maniatally bewildered, in the words of Peter Pan, “overghasted and flabberwhelmed” when I am confronted by people as to what they stigmatize as my verbabodical dimosophy gyrations .But let me use this opportunity to say that I have never set out…..I don’t deliberately set out to confuse my audience. Certain you want me to be dumb, when I talk, they just come, misuse less packadoo . I bet you don’t give what you don’t have, what I have, I give.
B: So what is your parting word to Nigerians?
O: My parting word to Nigerians is to be patient with the president of the country President, Umaru Musa Y’aradua. I appreciate that a lot of people at this time are becoming very critical in assessing the president because they believe that 8 months is enough to chart a visionary trajectory. I share those sentiments, but at the same time, let us not forget that the country was in a state of economical quagmaya, political fantasmagorie and social stupor at the time the president came on board. So I appeal to Nigerians to be a little bit patient with him.
But at the same time, I want to appeal to Mr. President to see the victory in the cause as a wake up challenge, for him to leave the position of recupensy into one of recusansy. 8 months, people should be able to say “this is the direction of Mr. President”. 8 months, people should be able to say “Mr. President’s stance for this”. There is a difference between amiability; there is a difference between decency and activism. The president must leave his position of political, and social and administrative lethargy and take the driver’s seat.
As Mr. President, he drives, and others follow. So whereas I appeal to Nigerians to be patient with him, I equally call on Mr. President to ascend the challenges of governance, and he cannot do that except he take the driver’s seat as the political do edger, the political emir of trans Jordan, and the political major dobo, the buck………
i love his flair lots!
he'd better copyright his language quick..
@ Waffy: I knew that if there was anyone in the world that could accomplish this feat - translating Obahiagbon - it would be you! lol!
Thank you so much. I will add it to the main post. You are too cool for words. lol!
@ Rethots: yes, where have you been?
@ Doja: Long time no see. Yes, it would be nice if he would speak in a way that most people could understand. However, he is a flamboyant speaker and that is very entertaining! So, I think he will be sticking to his routine.
@ sherri: lol! I would encourage him to copyright something! Thanks for your comment!
i watched him on NTA over the xmas breqak. Because i caught the show half way, i could not figure out who he is but he had on the hilarous tennis outfit and this young girl was asking some odd questions. the only thing I remember him saying was something about how because there is no one home to cook for him, he buys his food and how much he likes bread...or something like that and then he went to a park (or something like that) where there were many cars...i did not know what was going on.
so for those who are a bit slow on political issues, what does he do again? and why is it important?
i've noticed, in the past year or so, nta following the chinese example of video 1st, audio 5 seconds later
chap's certainly a maverick, reminds me of labour's dennis skinner in the british parliament, who's fondly referred to as the beast of bolsover
he also seems independent and fun to listen to, if i wasn't feeling the heat from abuja thru my pc
That bigstouting, suyaing and peppersouping were my favourite lines. Thanx waffarian, it was certainly easier to read than to listen to.
Am I allowed to say, I love you for giving me such joy. Wow what a great laugh. love xxxxxx
Okay, small correction: He did not say "don apticate of the universe, but "grand architect of the universe"
waffarian rocks harder than seashells for that transcription...ssd is supreme for this post and presenting the 'opportunity' for transcription to waffarian...
...thanks jinta for pointing that out about the delay...i thought it was me alone...haha...
...going to google and try to find out more about this guy...thanks for the heads up...
I must confess, apart from all the dirt thrown at us in the on-going power committee public sitting; Pat happens to be one of the reasons I try to tune in to watch the sitting.
Never heard of him before the sitting. I think we have another 'Oyi of Oyi'(Chuba Okadigbo) and K.O. Mbadiwe in the making. Nigeria in every generation is not in their short supply.
I wish him well though, I hope it will be vendi, vidi, vicki at long last for him on this political journey acclaimed to be filled with 'banana peels'.
Bende men, kai, if dem no show u say d fit blow grammar, dem no go rest ooh! kai which one na terra ferma and terra incognito?
lol, this man must add some life to the Parliament. He even quoted Peter Pan.
Waffy I hail you.
I have not even listened to him yet. My brother is a fan, sometimes I wonder if for the right reason cos most of the time, i get irritated after almost peeing my pants. My brother was in school in Benin when he was a state rep, so he taped a couple of his interviews and brought them home. Even his wife has confessed that she does not understand some of the things he says.
I must say I like this guy! One thing stands out in the member of the house, he is desciplined, he studies well and he takes his job seriuosly. I wish him the best best
Dele
@Waffy, I doff..! u too try!
I'll bet one thing, he was tempered and tried in the cauldron of the Nigerian student union movement...(I'm trying to speak like him but I no fit)
He speaks like the typical Nigerian student union leader only louder, more confusing and more confident in his crap...
why do you people celebrate morons?
@Waffy.. U too mush jare.... Sho see as you just dissolve the yarn for de people.. kai... that your brother go burs' person ear with grammar o....
I just pray say make the guy be better person true true.. make d grammar no be jus' ogboju to take deceive conutry people....
Truth be told, the guy is a huge joke. I thought he was a comedian until I saw ppl praising his rhetorical skill. He does not in any way communicate except bandying around bombastic words. He engages in rhetorical flourish pure and simple and I am in no way a fan of his. He expends enormous amount of energy speaking uncorrelated and staccato english.
This is what I call political quandom in a manner to verntabalise a well spoken statesman in a war of social democriticazm. It looks like Mr. Obahiagon has made a gramatical sindication but it is not him it is just his opponent that portraqualize his imaginary societal dialectics. I hope you can visuasumably accomplicate and mentalize the verbatim. Thank You.
Whoa! ...yep!
What a joke, Nigeria is in serious trouble when you have a comedian like this in a national leadership position.Most unfortunately comments about him has mainly been based on how funny this clown has been and not on the disaster he is, like femi kuti said 'i sorry for Nigera'. What a joke of a country and most unfortunately Nigerians dont even see or seems to have any will to act, all they see is how this idiot makes them laugh.
Hehehe, everyday i listen to our great parliamentarian, infact im beginning to talk like him now. I spend most of my time now in the library 19 to the dozen to check ambiguous words so as to be successful in achieving my goals in learning more. I bet i have this inside me and Mr Obahiagbon triggeerd me atleast i can't give what i dont have so what i have is what im giving now. Also there are some things missing in Waffys versin like Abosede saying Ehin, if anyone has more script please paste
I think this man and all the bloggers commending him should be made to face death by firing squad or chemical weapon. Why should foolishness be celebrated. Now I know why lowlifes aspire for political offices, at least it is evident the moron had been for over 8 years.
Nigeria needs a revolution!!!
@ Anonymous (12:44): Thank you for coming here and talking about firing squads and death by chemical weapons. I personally think that people who fail to read between the lines and allow others to enjoy themselves satirically do not deserve to be online commenting on things they don't understand.
Given your lean on things, I am sure you will understand. On second thought, maybe not.
Oh, and with regards to revolutions, feel free to read up on our prior discussions re: revolutions of the Nigerian mind, the Nigerian Psyche, PPP and its consequences.
Have a blessed offline life.
@ SOLOMONSYDELLE, i do not understand your stance on this,sorry.
Great Interview, great guy. It is just such opprobrium that a few do not understand the subliminal satiristical value of this post and comments.
Great work Waffa! I also took the liberty to transcribe it. And I think he says micro -terrestrial:
The only difference being of course, whereas in the state house of assembly you only impact on a micro-terrestrial plane and the national assembly you are talking at a macro level.
@ Anon (7:13): Thank you so much for putting it into context and doing it so eloquently. I lacked the time to further explain to the previous anonymous, but I hope he/she will be able to get it.
Feel free to come by anytime and share your wit, I beg. It is dearly needed.
I had to write what he was saying to understand and appreciate :)
Guess who I have on set. When you talk of political afraga flege, when you talk of agacity, when you talk of bouahaha. Welcome to NTA live from the National Assembly Hon. Patick Onahiagbon also known as Igodo Migodo. You're welcome
So how are you today?
Very good in [sontin sontin] order, healthy, always ready for parliamentary work.
Ehhyin, I know you were at the Edo State House of Assembly so how has your experience in the State House of Assembly prepared you for the challenges of the National House of Assembly?
Fantastic, err don't forget I did eight years at the Edo State House of Assembly and by the grace of the grand architect of the universe that opportunity had assisted me collossally in dotting the parliamentary i's and crossing the legislative t's and has put me in good stead for the due discharge of my parliamentary onus probandi because when you examine the relationship between parliament at the state level and parliament at the National Assembly the difference, if any, is one of a tweedledum and tweedledee, little or no difference. The only difference being, of course, that whereas in the state Houses of Assembly you only impact on a micro pedestral plane, at the National Assembly, you are talking at a macro level. So if you ask me, there is a biaological (biological?) rapport between parliament at the state level and parliament at the national level. It is one of a microcosm in a macrocosm. So in a nutshell, I want to say that my experience serving as a legislator for eight years and my experience when I was leader of Edo State House of Assembly for four years stood me certainly in good stead for this assignment at the national level
Is that why you have been a vibrant member of this National Assembly?
Partly yes! First, partly yes. Because err, it is terra, it is terra firma for me and not terra incognita. It is familiar terrain and once you were ceased/seized of the nuances of parliamentary discourse and discobolos, it follows therefore that it [incoherent sontin sontin] terra firma for you partly, but again partly its equally responsible. The fact that you cannot succeed as a parliamentarian if you are not cosmopolitan.You must be prepared to immerse (emesh?) yourself in societal dialectics for you to be able to contribute efficaciously in a utilitarian modus. So if you are a parliamentarian and you don't, you you don't even go through the ritual of reading newspapers, you don't bath yourself in the aqua of the political cross-currents then you're going to be [jezhumed sontin sontin] you're going to be kalaharistic in your contributions. So, yes my experience in the state House of Assembly has been responsible for my vibrancy in one breath. At another breath, my desire to perpetually entrench myselves in political social and intellectual currents have equally contributed in its own stead.
So in essence what challenge are you giving to your other colleagues?
Sancta(?) simplicitas, they must avoid regular big-stouting, suyaing, big-stouting and pepper-souping. Err, those are not the real issues. They must be prepared to immerse themselves in societal dialectics. They must put their nose to the grindstone. Chief Obafemi Awolowo, the Ikenne philosopher said the difference between me and my other colleagues is that when my other colleagues are cavorting in the dark alleys, I am in my library working myself nineteen to the dozen. You cannot foresee the life if you are not disciplined. You must be puritanical in your predisposition, you must engage in an exercise of self-purification and mortification, you must engage in an exercise of self-abnegation, you must exercise, you must engage in an exercise of spiritual emollition. You must discipline the flesh, you must conquer the flesh. You must allow the spiritual aspect of you preponderate the material aspect especially when you have chosen to represent the people. So that at the end of the day you can [sontin sontin] say vendi(veni) vidi vici.
What is the meaning of that?
I came, I saw, I conquered.
Sir just like I told you that you are a vibrant contributor to debates on the floor of the house. At times does it really bother you whether the people get to understand what you say because of those big big grammar?
Well let me say that I have been [meniatally sontin sontin] bewildered, in the words of Peter Pan, overgasted and flabberwhelmed when I am confronted by people as to what they stigmatise as my debagogical (demagogical?) gymnosophy gyrations. But let me use this opportunity to say that I have never set out, I don't deliberately set out to confuse my audience. [Sontin sontin] you want me to be dumb when I talk they just [sontin] in ceaseless peccato. [Sontin sontin] I bet you don't give what you don't have.
So what is your parting words to Nigerians?
My parting word to Nigerians is to be patient with the president of the country President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua. I appreciate that a lot of people at this time are becoming very critical in assessing the president because they believe that eight months is enough to chart a visionary trajectory. I share those sentiments but at same time let us not forget that the country was in a state of economic quagmire, political phantasmagoria and social stupor at the time the president came on board. So I appeal to Nigerians to be a little bit patient with him but at the same time I want to appeal to Mr President to see the victory in the cause as a wake up challenge for him to lead a position of reoccupancy(?) into [one/world] of recusancy. Eight months, people should be able to say this is the direction of Mr President. Eight months, people should be able to say Mr President stands for this. There is a difference between amiability, there is a difference between decency and activism. the president must leave his position of political and social and administrative lethargy and take the driver seat! As Mr President he drives! and others follows. So whereas I appeal to Nigerians to be patient with him I equally call on Mr President to accept the challenges of governance. and he cannot do that excepting he takes the driver's seat as the political dowager, the political [emir of France Jaja sontin sontin] and the political [mojo jojo?]. The buck stops on his table.
Well done Waffy and Anon. Una try well well. This was an epic feat. It's all clearer to me know. The guy actually makes a lot of sense, the grammar just too much! Check my blog.
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