Thursday, March 18, 2010

Long time readers of Nigerian Curiosity will know that I have a fascination with Patrick Obahiagbon. Although I have been chided for giving Obahiagbon attention, the fact is he has not been featured here since 2008 and the time has come for him to be a focus once again. He is a member of Nigeria's House of Representatives and frankly one of the most interesting politicians in the entire country. The reason for this is his manner of speaking which has earned him many nicknames such as the House of Assembly Parrot, the Big Grammar Speaker and a host of other colorful appellations.
In reaction to the ongoing political crisis in Nigeria, Obahiagbon called it a "judicial macossa dance." He also warned about the "constitutional inanity and giddy vacuousity" that could result from stretching the Nigerian constitution "to a point of deleterious elastoplasts." He went on to condemn the "absurdist theatre" of the "Nigerian political cinematography", which reeks "with ostentatious display of wealth, crass opportunism and vanitas vanitatum." And, just in case you were wondering what "Vanitas vanitatum" meant, as I was, it simply refers to futility and is used to express disillusionment, according to an online encyclopedia.

If you do not already have a dictionary handy, or blogger Waffarian on standby (she previously transcribed an interview given by Obahiagbon, God bless her), please endeavor to do so, because the following video is indecipherable without one. Frankly, the following video is indecipherable with either a dictionary or translator. Watch at your own risk.

I unfortunately cannot tell you what Obahiagbon is saying in this interview but must confess that it gave me an opportunity to laugh and in these days when there is nothing funny about Nigerian politics and the state of the nation, such laughter was welcome.

If you or anyone you know could possibly decipher what Obahiagbon said, please send me a transcript.

From The Archives:
- Patrick Obahiagbon: My Favorite Parliamentarian?
- President "Ecomini" of Ghana
- Should Africa's Presidents Get Web Savvy?

22 Curiosities. Add Yours.:

Baroka said...


Anonymous said...

Lol, the Honourable Parliamentarian strikes again! I saw this clip with a friend and it cracked us up. Here's my attempt at transcribing the interview. Thank God for google and yahoo.

PO's interview:

When the ship of the Nigerian state was heading for avoidable cataracts, icebergs and .... (I didn’t catch what he said here though it sounded like oxbullets) both chambers of the national assembly thought it worthwhile to be able to steer the ship of state from that deleterious ambience and in doing that, we conferred by way of resolution, the status of an acting president and commander in chief on the person of Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. Ipso facto and Ipso jure, the acting president becomes the commander in chief of the armed forces and S218(1) of the constitution is very clear and if I must read that Ipsissima Verba it says, ‘the powers of the president as the commander in chief of the armed forces of the federation shall include power to determine the operational use of the armed forces of the federation’. S8 of the armed forces act is equally to that effect. Therefore, the deployment of troops, last Wednesday, by the brigade of guards or by whoever to welcome president Umaru Yar Adua as far as I am concerned, was a breach of parliament. It’s very, very clear. I have heard the defence by the military apparatchik to the effect that what was done when President UYA came in amounted to written duties. That is an argumentative fallacy that borders on the genre of fallacy called Petitio Principii, begging the question, and that has anchorage in another fallacious genre of post hoc ergo propter hoc. You cannot say to me that, no matter how routine it was that the Acting president and commander in chief of the armed forces, the former Vice President did not have a right to know. 300 soldiers we read in the newspapers, deployed at the middle of the night, conveyed in about 25 vehicles, with weapons given to them at the wee hours of the night. Supposing the soldiers decided to have a change of mind and the commander in chief was unaware and we are being told that it was routine duties, I say Caboodle Rejectamenta to that. It was a breach, a violation of the constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria because when the National Assembly conferred a status on acting president Goodluck Jonathan, we did that pursuant to the powers given to us by the constitution and S1 of the 1999 constitution proclaims the supremacy of the constitution. Any other law, any other rule, any other convention that is inconsistent with the provisions of the 1999 constitution is to that extent of its inconsistency null and void.

Baroka said...

Actually, this is one of his easiest-to- understand interviews, and I can transcribe it for you if I have the time. All you need to understand are the things you can hear from the video, the rest are just legal mumbo-jumbo. Except, of course for his pronunciation of chief as shief, change as shange and chamber for shamber.

LaPenseuse said...

WTH... ahahahahaha... I keep asking myself if he is serious or if he is joking :)

Dojaa said...

What is the use of so much English if no one understands you? I Don't find it funny and I think he is a joke.

Seyi said...

@Doja...comic relief!

Akin Akintayo said...


I have not been so well entertained by a Nigerian politician in a long time.

Even I was lost after a while.



Anonymous said...

2 things..i wonder what goes on in his head when he speaks,,and how the reporter is able to not scatter laugh..

- OluSimeon from Twitter

F said...

LWKM! Hahahaha... This man never fails to entertain... Poor guy means well but his language is bordering on ridiculous now...

Anonymous said...


- Olamild from Facebook

Gogo | Innovate Africa Network said...

Oh! This is the absolute best...

I no go lie you. I never hear the bobo before but I recognize "instant classic" when I see am.

Veracity said...

Thank you Culturesoup for transcribing.

Mr Obahiagbon was using actual words, except the delivery was clownish and he did not need to engage in malapropism, redundant words and jargon to make a point.

His thick Edo accent did not help the intelligibility either. He sounds like a pompous fop if you ask me.

Secret Diary said...

I'm not a fan of Honourable Patrick Obahiagbon. His meaningless BIG BIG grammar and giganotosaurus media hugging solves nothing for Nigeria. Patrick, your giganotosaurus grammar is causing spinosaurus headache for everyone. Seriously, do we really need all these big and useless words to solve 9ja problems? Na so so oyinbo Patrick dey blow. Abeg, Patrick, offer solutions and leave the BIG grammar for your housemaid :)

Kazeem Yinusa said...

Well, I think you need some few odd people around sometimes. Its better to speak to be understood but I like him.

RE - BadGalsRadio said...

Oh wait, AwwwwHelltotheNawww. that's Keith Murrays' uncle. he's regulating. are you sure he's not getting ready to try to become president ? weren't those the presidents guards who met his plane ? so what's the deal ? cause they had guns ? what's he scurd cause they had guns at 3am and he didn't know ?

Lawd-A-Mercy !

now why did they tell mrs yar a'dua to shut up and then they said she was hiding the president since he is not fit to be president according to his medical report.. girll,,, is this Jamaica or a Nigerian soap opera ?

Daaammmnnnn should I start doing Abuja Stories instead of Tivoli Stories ?

it's getting hot hot hot !!!

so why does Mr. Goodhat seem so powerless in all of this ? so many questions,

Damnnn Politics Nigerian Stylie. this is the ultimate He Said,

Unknown said...

funny man! Arrogant but still funny! He talks more for the arrogance of it!
He is definitely not trying to be clear!

Long Live Nigeria!!!

Akin Akintayo

Jinta said...

although the challenges facing us as a nation should not encourage such unseriousness, i do believe every political setup needs their mavericks...

Azazel said...


Anonymous said...

Na this kind of English dey cause global warming. Please, let's fight to save the planet from this man's personal attack.

Sam123 said...

My Grammer teacher. lol.

Anonymous said...

He made me love politics more.
For a girl mayne.

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