JOKES & NIGERIA'S KAITA (VIDEO)

Those who, like myself, watched the Nigeria v. Greece match on Thursday, June 17th should know who Sani Kaita is. To Nigerians, he the much despised footballer whose emotions drew a red card during the match, effectively sabotaging the country's efforts. To Greeks, well, he was sent by their gods as the help they needed to finally score their first ever goal at a World Cup tournament.

Although Kaita apologized, with tears and all, for his error, he continues to be vilified in the Nigerian press. Average Nigerians, frustrated by the inability of the team to win a single match in the first round, also target their anger at him. Considering that I recently learned that getting onto the squad can sometimes require bribery (I hope this is not true) and not a transparent process where the best players are selected, I daresay, Kaita might not be to blame for the nation's woeful results at the World Cup. As such, it is time to forgive Kaita. This despite the fact that I advocated he receive some koboko lashes. I confess that I was in the heat of football frenzy and disappointment.

If there is anyone to be upset with, it should be the countless members of Nigeria's legislative body, the National Assembly, who flew en masse to South Africa to watch the games. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to witness the first ever World Cup to take place on African soil, the fact that their trip was paid for with government money, and that they enjoyed (and in some cases continue to enjoy) an all expenses paid trip is disgusting. Add to that many of these same individuals just increased their allowances and the matte is far from funny. In my opinion, all those legislators should pay back whatever the cost of the trip was, and apologize for not bringing any luck to the Nigerian team.

Nevertheless, enjoy the immortalization of Kaita's mistake and the red card he received in the video below. It is quite funny and should take the sting out of the disappointment and anger for Nigeria's fans. After the video is a hilarious illustration of the venom Nigerians feel towards Kaita.

KAITA as lexicon

KAITA (Kai-ta)
v. Kai*ta, Kai*tas, kai*ta'ed, kai*ta'ing
1. To single-handedly dash the hopes and aspirations of one's nation in the full glare of other nations
2. To karate-kick your way out of the greatest stage/spotlight ever known to man
3. To destroy/zap/siphon the energies of teammates plus 140 million people through unexplainable stupidity
4. To act foolishly, unintelligently or irrationally and IMMEDIATELY regret the action by falling on your knees

Etymology: Derived from the dreadful match between Nigeria and lowly Greece at the 2010 Soccer World Cup

Usage:
1. "Please, please, do not KAITA what we have been building for 50 years o! Oloshi!"
2. "I don't care what people say, I will KAITA the multi-billion dollar plan!"
3. "That man, you know, the hopeless, useless, visionless, KAITAing guy!"
4. "I was KAITAing until I met Jesus!"

Synonyms:
1. Sabotage
2. Incapacitate
3. Destroy/Demobilize
4. Jeopardize
5. Impair
6. Implode
7. Shege Banza!

KAITA (Kai-ta)
n. Kai*ta: A term that describes a temporary but catastrophic loss of mental competency.
See also amnesia. (Source: Open Source partner davidylan)

KAITAISIS (Kai-ta-i-sis)
n. Kai*ta*i*sis
1. A new mental sickness recently discovered by Neurosurgeons. It affects the victim's ability to think right or make right judgement especially when it matters most.
2. Victims often confuse the game of soccer for a karate session. Its derived from the new word KAITA