JOKES & NIGERIA'S KAITA (VIDEO)

Monday, June 21, 2010

Those who, like myself, watched the Nigeria v. Greece match on Thursday, June 17th should know who Sani Kaita is. To Nigerians, he the much despised footballer whose emotions drew a red card during the match, effectively sabotaging the country's efforts. To Greeks, well, he was sent by their gods as the help they needed to finally score their first ever goal at a World Cup tournament.

Although Kaita apologized, with tears and all, for his error, he continues to be vilified in the Nigerian press. Average Nigerians, frustrated by the inability of the team to win a single match in the first round, also target their anger at him. Considering that I recently learned that getting onto the squad can sometimes require bribery (I hope this is not true) and not a transparent process where the best players are selected, I daresay, Kaita might not be to blame for the nation's woeful results at the World Cup. As such, it is time to forgive Kaita. This despite the fact that I advocated he receive some koboko lashes. I confess that I was in the heat of football frenzy and disappointment.

If there is anyone to be upset with, it should be the countless members of Nigeria's legislative body, the National Assembly, who flew en masse to South Africa to watch the games. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to witness the first ever World Cup to take place on African soil, the fact that their trip was paid for with government money, and that they enjoyed (and in some cases continue to enjoy) an all expenses paid trip is disgusting. Add to that many of these same individuals just increased their allowances and the matte is far from funny. In my opinion, all those legislators should pay back whatever the cost of the trip was, and apologize for not bringing any luck to the Nigerian team.

Nevertheless, enjoy the immortalization of Kaita's mistake and the red card he received in the video below. It is quite funny and should take the sting out of the disappointment and anger for Nigeria's fans. After the video is a hilarious illustration of the venom Nigerians feel towards Kaita.



KAITA as lexicon
KAITA (Kai-ta)
v. Kai*ta, Kai*tas, kai*ta'ed, kai*ta'ing
1. To single-handedly dash the hopes and aspirations of one's nation in the full glare of other nations
2. To karate-kick your way out of the greatest stage/spotlight ever known to man
3. To destroy/zap/siphon the energies of teammates plus 140 million people through unexplainable stupidity
4. To act foolishly, unintelligently or irrationally and IMMEDIATELY regret the action by falling on your knees

Etymology: Derived from the dreadful match between Nigeria and lowly Greece at the 2010 Soccer World Cup

Usage:
1. "Please, please, do not KAITA what we have been building for 50 years o! Oloshi!"
2. "I don't care what people say, I will KAITA the multi-billion dollar plan!"
3. "That man, you know, the hopeless, useless, visionless, KAITAing guy!"
4. "I was KAITAing until I met Jesus!"

Synonyms:
1. Sabotage
2. Incapacitate
3. Destroy/Demobilize
4. Jeopardize
5. Impair
6. Implode
7. Shege Banza!

KAITA (Kai-ta)
n. Kai*ta: A term that describes a temporary but catastrophic loss of mental competency.
See also amnesia. (Source: Open Source partner davidylan)

KAITAISIS (Kai-ta-i-sis)
n. Kai*ta*i*sis
1. A new mental sickness recently discovered by Neurosurgeons. It affects the victim's ability to think right or make right judgement especially when it matters most.
2. Victims often confuse the game of soccer for a karate session. Its derived from the new word KAITA 


9 Curiosities. Add Yours.:

Nmachi Jidenma said...

Lol. This explanation is simply delicious!
"Victims often confuse the game of soccer for a karate session. Its derived from the new word KAITA"
Nice one. The video was rather vicious. See heavy truck, kai. I hear the poor guy has received about 1,000 death threats (BBC)

It indeed is time o forgive him!

Jennifer A. said...

Eyahhhh. LOL. That lego video can cause Kataisis.

RE - A BadGalSays said...

yes it's true he has made many people very angry. I do not think he will be safe once he returns home. he better try to stay in south africa, or face the rath of the entire country.

Anthonia Kehinde said...

I feel sorry for the guy...everyone should just forgive and move on. After all it is only football. If only Nigerians would direct their anger at the so called people in charge of running the country; things might be improving in Nigeria today.

www.antslittlethoughts.blogspot.com

CodLiverOil said...

People are missing the point. After Kalu Uche's free kick where the team scored against Greece, the team sat back, momentum was beginning to turn against them. Shortly afterwards Mr Kaita, decided to behave in an undisciplined manner, and was rewarded with a red card and sent off.

The Greeks had already decided to wind up their attacks, and the sending off of Kaita galvanised them even more. They then launched wave upon wave of attack, untroubled for the most part at a leisurely pace due to inactivity of the midfield and forwards, and succeeded in breaching the defence twice. So Nigeria were successful in snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. (I can't believe I woke up at 4am to watch that).

The problem does not exclusively lie with the antics of one player, or even the team. Though the team are partly at fault for capitulating so easily in that match. (Compare them to the team from Uruguay who successfully when down to 10 men held France to a 0 - 0 draw, Nigeria with 10 men couldn't defend their lead not to mention a draw, but that is history... we must learn from our mistakes.)

There are some good posts on the topics of politicians exploiting the world cup to waste money.

http://aderinola.wordpress.com/2010/06/13/nigerias-rulers-relocate-to-south-africa/

and

On the performance of football team, and its subsequent elimination. The problem goes well beyond indisciplined players and a new coach. You can read about it in the link below.

http://aderinola.wordpress.com/2010/06/19/super-eagles-are-not-the-problem/

Ayo Adene said...

i was not dithered by Nigeria's disaster at the World Cup. I interpreted it as syndromatic of the Nigerian factor. I witnessed a lack of passion and a lot of hot air. Why are these things so? maybe because people, after bribing to get on, feel obligated only to their egos and not to the poor masses. i saw pride. i saw bigmanity. i saw presumtuousness. i didnt see discipline. i saw the Nigerian factor in all its hydra-headed monstrosity. the Nigerian factor is the almost buit never factor. it is found everywhere- national assembly, politics, economy, and now in Ellis Park. It's precursor is Endemic Pansystemic Corruption. i looked at the faces of the Koreans, Argentinians, Greeks, and saw a different spirit. even Messi, the World Player. I saw childlike simplicity and a thirst for Glory like he had never played before. on our faces? I saw braggadocio, swagga , ginger, tomatoes, rotten eggs and too much pancake. The only Nigerian player with Another Spirit is Osaze. But there are 10 real Nigerians besides him. we cant Lagerback that away. It's toxic. It's Nigerian. No surprises. Selah.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

"The only Nigerian player with Another Spirit is Osaze"

Amen to that Ayo. How are things? Long time no see. I hope all is well with you and yours. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I think a lot of us will tend to agree with some of your points.

Hope to see you around.

Anonymous said...

WHY DON'T YOU REFERENCE THE ORIGINAL BLOGGER WHO CAME UP WITH THIS JOKE. http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-464593.0.html

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

@ anonymous: please feel free to share with us the original blogger/person that created the joke. It was sent around to numerous Nigerians but was left un-cited. If you have that information and it can be verified, it will be included. Thank you so much.

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